I guess it’s not being the fangirl of an artist part that saved me because I believe in Christ Jesus and my faith teaches that we can’t served / worship idols in a way tht we worship our Idols like some kind of God or something.
But I wanted to point out that sometimes during though times – like desperations or even suicidal thoughts – God reminded me on how He wanted to use me to bless others in this case using my talent in production / theatre.
Every time I stalked my fav celebs, I always said to Him, ‘Use me for your glory. Help me in meeting them so I can be the extension of Your Hands to this artist.’ – Because guess what, Celebs are humans. 😀
People might say, ‘How lucky you are!’
When I met their fave celebs but I wanted to say ‘It’s not just luck. If God wanted you to meet them for a purpose, then He will help us. He will let us know where they are and perhaps, somehow we were just bumping into them.’
Like my story with Shane Filan from Westlife.
He was my first crush – my first fangirling moment – it drove me to learn English faster than ever so when I met them, I can communicate with them properly.
I still remember how desperate I was in meeting him. I remember talking about it with my late grandma – I begged her to pray for me – so that I can meet him – with his picture in my hand – we began to pray.
She cried and begged God, so that I can meet Shane. I was in grade 5 back then. She literary prayed it hard.
As a result of that, God said YES YES YES.
I met Shane during their third visit to Indonesia somewhere in a hotel room in 2007 – that’s where I met my fangirling friend, Ivy -who still got in touch with me until now. (See, how God just have another plan more than you could wished for?)
Neither that i know, years later, in 2016 (December) 0 God has another plan for me.
Shane was coming back to Indonesia – this time to Manado.
One of my colleague was his booking agent and I offered him my help / assistance.
Turns out God has planned this AHEAD of me – since that prayer in 2001.
In Manado, my colleague approves and needs my help in assisting Shane during his times in Manado. I was his door man, private dining room organizer, his assistant, hi LO – I was inside the lift together with him and his manager – like literary ALONE – just the three of us.
I was also able to tell him that I was in Croke Park during his farewell tour. That was awesome. He was like ‘Whoa.’ Yeah, that was special. He dozed back to that memories. It meant a lot for him.
I gained his trust and his manager trust to assist him in Indonesia / during his stay in Manado and was able proof that I’m not just his fangirl but I can also work professionally and able to distance my self from being his fans to professional crew.
I was always wanted to be a LO / hospitality team for the artist during concert.
And that dream come true, and begin to reveal in front of my eyes.
I also got the chance to hug him just before he went inside the Garuda plane – lol.
None of this would happen if I gave up my life to my suicidal thoughts.
None of this (me being Shane’s crew or even One Direction ‘sound crew’) if I gave up my life.
All of these ‘Lucky’ fan experiences happened because GOD HAS PLANNED IT FOR US – AHEAD. FOR OUR OWN GOODNESS! FOR OUR OWN PURPOSES on this earth to serve God and to bless others with our experiences!
I guess I could say,
“Fan ship saves me a bit BUT THAT’S BECAUSE God use it as a tool to remind me during my desperate / suicidal times / thoughts that:
“I can’t die now, I need to live on – to experience my next fangirl-ing moment / journey ahead that God has in store for me and I don’t want to missed it!! I have to LIVE!”