It’s been a while since I last wrote this blog.
It’s been tricky that I love to write but I don’t like to read.
It’s also been a chapter or season in my life that is now closed.
I’ve met some fantastic people there.
I love doing it soo much that I gave it all – that I gave everything till I was just falling apart and drained out.
It’s also so weird that two nights before I was just saying things to God
‘God, I love this job. But I’m also drained out. I can’t work like this anymore. There’s a lot toxic people there now. I’ve did it all. I tried to deal with everything that I feel it’s still under the umbrella of me as a stage manager. I’ve put it all until it becomes too much.
I moved to my current apartment now because of this job. I love where I’m staying now actually.
I’m sorry that if You feel that I wasn’t thankful. But now, I can’t process anything.’
The company that I love working, that they’re saying loyalty, that they’re saying its not about itung2an, and somehow now we all have to follow specific procedures, and etc.
I got terminated, but they don’t want to fired me.
I got forcefully to resign and give them my resignation letter but turns out they already continue to want me out just before the show starts to roll on.
I went in today and it seems everything is okay.
It was so bizarre that the night before I was saying the exact same words – and now it’s happening in front of me.
I am really tired, exhausted, drained. and I need a break.
I think God sees that.
Physically / mentally, I’m not okay for this.
I love my job, I love doing what I do – as a stage manager – and I didn’t get a chance to learn ! It’s ridiculous !
Everything about this it’s just silly.
Now, I don’t know what to do with my self anymore.
I should live in a cave.
Where I create my own world.
Without interruptions or trying to fit in for other people.
Why should I change my self while everybody its just caring of what their own problems. ??
or their own trick?