What would you do when you feeling tired and you just want to take a day off without any reason?
Just feeling burnt out and I missed being free.
I missed creating something, exploring my self to every possibilities, and not just stuck here and obeying the rules that exist.
I missed waking up late and not doing anything.
I missed just to be able to write something without worrying about what other people think.
I missed the feeling of you had too much sleep that you just feel bored at the end of it but you don’t blame yourself for it.
I missed just to be able to stay at home and work at home – not having to always go to one places at the time and have to obey the rules of what they have.
I missed being my self without even have to worry how am I going to fit in or accepting negative energy around me.
I guess, I’m a lonewolf.
I don’t have any rules but my own.
The question is, how am I going to fit in? in a society full of rules and expectations?
Do I have to?
Or I can just make my own rules, stay within my own path, and even though I have to struggle financially, I am happy.
I missed my freedom.
I missed on how when a person called me and needed my help, I can just go and jump in to that project without worrying either or not my boss would allowed me to go.
Huh, I missed the thrilled to that.
That feeling of rush.
That feeling of excitement and ready to go after a long break and long recharge of your self.
And ready to go for that next project, living project after project.
Freelancing my way in to the art world.
Not that I’m not thankful to what I have right now,
Stable jobs, stable income, on my field of expertise..
But, AM I HAPPY?
AM I Fitting in?
AM I Good enough?
I like waking up in the afternoons and staying up till late night and still be succesful?
Can I be succesful and change the norms that people whose successful are an early riser?
I just need rest.
Recharge my self.
And waking up fresh.
Can I do that?
The question remains,
Am I good enough?