Posted in Theatre

Post ini agak panjang,,,

“in the midst of constant fear that I’m living now, i am reminded that He who give me strength and understand me will overcome and help me faced my fears.”

Coming home last night after my work, feeling tired and everything, I have to face a threat from one of my mates, threatening me that if I don’t finish the problems that I have with my assistant, (they are good mates), he will ruined my life or my career. I don’t know what else to say other than keeping my silence and saying that no matter how i tried to say or defend my self, I’ll always be the one that wronged in their eyes.

Yes, I am not perfect. Nobody’s perfect. I have my flaws that I have to fix and struggles that not everybody knows that I am racing and constantly learnt from it.

God built me as an Individual whom used to be alone or never have a friends cliques or a genk in my school days and I’ve survived from it. And yet, He challenged me to be a flexible individual who can also work with a team and blends with them. He put my passion in the field that requires team work and challenging me to be the best that I can be, following the flow of the team work and learning to listen.

But sometimes, not everybody understands my struggles, not everybody understands why I did what I did, and another struggle that I have to face is how to communicate gently (as per culture) in Indonesia, with my team.

From the outside, people may see me as a rich kid whom loved by her parents, or a happy kid who wants to constantly help others but never know that she’s being used. Or a selfish kid whom just constantly not aware of others and can’t blend with others. But from the inside, I never tell what my real struggles are. Unless, these people are willing to guide me or to understand me, or to see me as one unique creations from Him and not see me as a person that can’t changed.

This fear, that this guy put on me just because I had to do whats right with the job that I am in, and work professionally, has consumed me until I saw this photo on Instagram by Ps.Bobbie Houston.

‘the Lord is your strength.’
‘do not fear.’

I barely open my insta feed but tonight I was just randomly open them and scrolling through and found this, and I’m immediately started crying, because His never ending love and grace beats that fear , and no matter what social awkwardness or conflict that I have to face in my future to shape me up and become more a better person of me, I am ready, because He is on my side.

”Never fear. I’m here for you.’
“My love thriumphs fear.”


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Jesus. #TreatPeopleWithKindness Head of Hospitality @FullColorParty Loves to Write I love concerts, and everything about music Loves to assist and help others I am always prepared for everything Loves to travel but I can't travel light - I've tried tho! :D Feel Free to chat me about things! I'm struggling with anxiety / dark thoughts / brain noise (as Chris Evans might said it :P) - sometimes :)

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